....and DONE!!!

The Clothing Chronicles, Is It Just Me?

I'm hoping that by the end of this post I won't be left standing alone (to be more accurate; sitting while typing) by my ill fitting, mismatched clothed self.  I need to know that other people do the same thing....compromise fit for time or savings.  Who's with me?

I wear one pair of jeans.  Read that again.  One pair.  And I love them.  Now, don't get me wrong...I OWN probably 20 pair in a variety of sizes ranging from "Are you serious?" to "Remember when?"  But that one pair is the only denim in the rotation right now.  If I'm in a pinch and the beloved are in the wash, I'll wear a pair of ill fitting jeans.  Always the next size up, never down.  I learned a long time ago that squeezing, shoving and stuffing into a smaller size doesn't make you look slimmer....in fact, an image of bulldogs wrestling in a pillow case comes to mind.  Why don't I just get another pair of jeans that actually fit?  That makes perfect sense!  Eh...that would take time and money...plus, I have other jeans.  Yeah, but they don't fit!!!  But look at the stack of jeans you have...there are people with NO jeans in this world!  But they don't fit!!!  See why it's hard to be in my head?

This same principle applies to shorts, too.  One pair...plus the cast offs.  Which reminds me that I need to wash those, unless the peach chunks and accompanying juice magically disappeared from the entire crotch area....

Here's what else I'm stuck on...I was trying on fun summer dresses at Target that were out of my usual comfort zone.  I was really proud of myself.  I picked out a floor length (?) ankle length (?) long, sleeveless dress with a v-neck.  Surprisingly, the length did not make look like a gnome, and the waist did not make me look like a Popsicle.  So far so good, right?  But, the top was a little too big and the V was a little too deep.  I was thinking of wearing the dress to church, but not with that much cleavage!  So, I thought "Well, if I put a cammi under it...and a cardigan over it, it could work."  What?  Now I just went from an easy to throw on dress to an elaborate get up to keep people from stumbling in Sin at church?  I didn't get the dress.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I have a lot of clothes that require a plan.  Pants that have no button, but if I pin them then cover it with a top...A shirt with a stain, but if I wear a scarf....Pants that can only be worn with heels....Pants that can only be worn with flats....Pants that are too big, but if I use a belt then cover the gappy part....A shirt that's too short, but if I wear a tank under it....No one will see the maternity tag, right?...So what if I've had this shirt since before having kids?  It's still cool, right?  Uhhhhh. no.

When did I become this person?  It's not like I was ever a fashion icon, unless Hyper Color T-shirts or Skidz counts towards being a fashionista.  I try to follow trends or at the very least avoid fashion faux pas like shoulder pads, pleats and bolo ties.  But where did the compromise begin?  Am I lazy?  Frugal to the point of spending more on safety pins than the clothes themselves?   Since in the recent past, my size has gone up and down depending on which side of pregnancy we're talking about, I simply found it pointless to put time and money into a wardrobe that will potentially not fit in the near future.  But that doesn't make it okay to wear broken down, stained, ill fitting junk either.

I guess I never realized how much clothing compromising I was doing.  Guess I need to go shopping...SOON!  Anybody need to go with me?

For the next Clothing Chronicles..."Can we talk about ugly underwear?".

Sweet Progress

Wildlife Woes...

If we're friends on Facebook, there's no doubt you're familiar with our tales of wildlife that exist in our very own animal preservation area backyard....in fact, you may have grown weary of the oft repeated groundhog sightings.  But, we've reached a new level in the circle of life that constantly turns...

For those of you that are unaware of our animal adventures, allow me to enlighten you.  We live in a fairly crowded suburb of Pittsburgh.  From our house, we've walked to the McDonald's.  Giant Eagle slash shopping center is not much further than McD's.  The streets are busy and the sounds of sirens are a daily song.  When it's nice enough to have the windows open, one can hear what the neighbors are watching on t.v. (John and Patty are BIG Jeopardy fans!).  My point is, we do not live in the country! 

But you wouldn't know it by our animal population!  Stray cats?  Check!  Deer?  Check!  Four million squirrels?   Check!  Pigeons that the Jeopardy neighbors raise?  Check!  If you listen carefully, you can hear the sweet sounds of Barry White drifting out from under our shed...this is where the ever multiplying ground hogs live.

The other night, we heard what sounded like a deer rubbing it's antlers on a tree.  However, Jay being so wise to deer habits, knew that this was the wrong season for rubbin' so we listened closer.  Turned out to be some type of animal on animal crime.  Cats chasing each other or other critters is not so unusual...but this!  This was different.  Whatever was doing the chasing was fast (so, not a groundhog...they tend to waddle), heavy (so, not a fox) and had a low, guttural growl (so, not a cat or dog).  What then?  Jay posed the question to the Facebook world and immediately responses came back voting that it was a coyote!  COYOTE!!!!????  This could be dangerous!  Should we warn the neighbors?  Maybe send out an FYI note?

WARNING!!!!  THIS PART GETS GROSS!!!

Eh. We didn't do any of those things...but what we did do was smell something awful when we were in the backyard yesterday.  I thought it was garbage.  I was wrong, but man!  I wish I had been right!  Jay discreetly toured the edge of our property looking for the source of the stench.  Sure enough, he found the culprit.  It was a rabbit only identified as such by his little cotton tail and long hind legs.  Peter didn't have much of a head to speak of.  He did, however, have a colony of maggots munching away at where his face would've been.  Sorry for the graphic details...but UGH!  I know I have a lot of weird quirks and things I don't like or that freak me out...but maggots!  I truly have a nightmare inducing fear of maggots.  UGH!  YUCK!  BLECH!

So, what should we do with this discovery?  I voted for leaving it there, letting nature takes it's course, pray that the children didn't see it and forget the whole thing ever happened.  I mean, the smell would eventually dissipate, right?  Jay voted for disposing of the body.  For fear of maggots getting on him or (gasp!) in the house I vehemently opposed this choice!  No way!  Uh-huh!  Leave it be!  Get rid of it how?  Where?  No!

This evening as I was putting the kids to bed, Jay went out to mow the lawn.  After some time had passed with no hum of the mower, Jay came in to say the he had successfully scooped Peter into a heavy duty garbage bag.  Grrrrrrrr!  But now what?  We couldn't leave it in the garbage cans.  Did I mention our raccoon friends earlier?  Plus, with the recent heat, we've just created nature's own Easy Bake Oven.  Hmmmm?  Jay said he would take care of it and left...as in, put the bag in his trunk and drove away.  I'm going with a "don't ask, don't tell" policy on this one.

Now that Jay has changed clothes and thoroughly inspected all contaminated clothing (including the seams) and his trunk for lingering maggots, we're settling in to a quiet evening of listening to the birds chirp and critters run for their lives.

What is this????!!!!???? Seriously!

I know I've been lacking in any kind of interesting post as of late.  Maybe because I've been distracted by this....

Seriously....what in the H-E-Double Hockey Sticks are these orange, claw like fingers growing out of the garden????  We have never seen these before, ever.  They have just sprouted...the last pic is of what I can only assume is the seed.  The seed is soft and squishy like a marshmallow.  It didn't smell like anything, though I can't really smell at all due to congestion...and yes, I know it's weird to smell stuff, but it's what I do.   It did provide a good opportunity to teach the kids that these are not in fact carrots or witch fingers and how produce grows and the unlikely nature of buried witches in the front yard.

Anywho....they're pretty creepy.  Any thoughts?

Sure do love this kid...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY 2 YEAR OLD BABY TREY!!!!!

Do me a favor and pretend that I wasn't as big as a house when I went to be induced...thanks.

Hit The Nail On The Head...errr Toe!

My kids don't wear shoes every time we play outside.  Whew!  I feel better now that I've confessed that tidbit. 

Sometimes, they might step on something sharp like a thorn or pine needle...nothing major.  Every once in a while, a scratch may occur from running, jumping, skipping or the like...again, no harm, no foul.  Or maybe the baby will pick up this....

and drop it on his teeny, tiny, baby big toe.  Oops.

As I was playing catch with The Bigs, I saw Trey monkeying with the 2x4 and thought not much of it.  Why is there a 2x4 in our front yard?   He had it in his hands for approximately 5 seconds before he dropped it.  He knew and I knew immediately that it was going to be bad.  I rushed over to him, scooped him up and his toe was already bleeding...a lot. 

After convincing Joe and Bella that no, Trey was not going to die, I shuffled everyone inside and put my non existent nursing skills to work...this included grabbing the nearest, cleanest wash cloth and calling Jay.  I just couldn't tell if Trey needed to go to the emergency room or not.  So, following Jay's advice, I put Trey in his high chair and gave him some blackberries and turned on some rockin' Fresh Beat Band.  He stopped crying, but his toe didn't stop bleeding.

Let me preface this next part with a disclaimer.  I LOVE our doctor's office.  The nurses are always helpful and make time for us, plus all the doctors are great with our kids.  But the following conversation was comical.  Being a tad flustered, I was tripping on my words at first trying to describe the situation.  This is what Jay heard from my side of the convo.  "Yes, he was barefoot." "Yes, a 2x4." "Right, outside, no shoes, a 2x4." "He'll be 2 next week." "Yep, barefoot."  Sigh...."We'll be right there."

The doctor and nurse were great, though, despite Trey's crying and screaming "HAVE A NICE DAY!" and waving Bye-Bye incessantly.  We were home in no time.

I took him this morning to get an x-ray...which was none too pleasant to keep a 2 year old occupied in an adult oriented waiting room and an hour long wait.  But all's well that ends well...no broken bones.

Trey is not bothered at all by his toe and look where we were tonight after dinner....

Outside...barefoot...again.  Don't tell on me, please.