New Territory

Have you ever come across the blog, People I Want to Punch in the Throat?  That Jen is a card, I tell ya.  I will also warn you that if you're easily offended by 'swears' (as my kids call them), coarse humor, or painful truths, don't click on the link. 

This post has nothing to do with her blog.  But I have found myself, recently, wanting to punch people in the throat.  To keep repeating the phrase over and over, I thought deserved at least a shout out to her dedication to throat punching.

As our children (ages 10, 8, and 4 11/12) get older, I continually find myself in new parenting territory.  Whatever I think I know about parenting gets pushed aside to make room for new realizations.  My most recent realization is that kids are jerks.  Ugh!  Okay, fine!  Not all kids.  Certainly not your kids...never my kids. Ha!  But, seriously!  This school year has had me mentally throat punching people left and right.  (Do I have to add that I would never actually punch a kid?  Fine.  I hereby declare that this post is satirical and should not be taken as a threat in any form.)  Since Christmas, one kid in particular has taught Joe the "F" word.  Joe didn't understand him the first time, so I got to tell him that FURK is not the mother of all swear words.  Take that, kid!  Except that he spoke more clearly the next day.  He's taught Joe to look up words like vagina in the dictionary. (Joe already kinda knew this word, he just didn't know you were supposed to giggle when you said it.) And, I can't even fully explain what he taught Joe to make 2 Lego horses do to each other.  So, this new territory...how much do we let 'boys be boys'?  We can't exactly forbid Joe from talking to this kid...they're in school together.  And as much as I hate it, Joe has to be out of my eyesight for those educating hours. And, if it wasn't this kid, it would be another.  How long will it last that Joe openly tells me (or uses props to show me) what he's 'learned'?  We continually tell Joe that we want the other kids to be like him.  Not for him to be like the other kids while I'm mentally punching people in the throat. 

Bella (the 8 year old going on 17) is taking her first real hip hop class at a local dance studio.  The class is once a week for half an hour.  The other girls in her class take other types of dance, too, and seem to have been taking classes together for years.  Bella loves, loves, loves the class, the teacher, and the other girls.  My sweet princess girl is oblivious that the other girls are shunning her.  They turn their backs to her when she walks up to them or just walk away.  The other night, she asked a girl what game she was playing on her phone.  The girl could have dislocated something with how hard she rolled her eyes and said with a sneer "You've never heard of Minecraft???"  Bella, thinking the girl was interested in her gaming history, said "No. How do you play?"  The girl ignored her as another girl plopped down on her other side and started chatting.  At that point, I called Bella over to me to hug her before class started.  While Bella was in class, I watched a gaggle of other girls (not so) subtly mock a girl who was not part of their group.  People were getting mentally throat punched all over the place.  How do I make sure Bella preserves her innocence?  How do I tell her she doesn't need to be friends with these girls without hurting her feelings?  I did tell her that I thought the one girl wasn't very nice, to which, Bella defended her.

I fear that this new territory includes letting them step further away from us and navigate social situations themselves.  It's painful to watch.  Good thing we know that God is bigger than whatever a bunch of kids can throw at them.  Is it okay, though, if I keep punching people in throat...mentally, of course. 

Overly Detailed Before & After

Christina, over at She's a Crafty Pumpkin, is constantly annoyed at me for not giving more detailed descriptions when I make or redo something.  So, this post is mainly for her. 

My brand spankin' new dining room needed a pop of color, so I took this...

 To this...

Annnnnddddd, here's how that happened in great detail.  To be honest, this 'dresser in the dining room' idea was my 'B' plan.  Plan A looked much different in my head. But after several searches failed to meet my vision, including my beloved antique store, I had to come to grips that unless I was going to spend a ton of money it just wasn't going to become a reality.  I'm for sure keeping Plan A in the back of my head and will ditch this dresser in a hot minute (or maybe just move it to another room), but for now, I love love love the color and the functionality.

After Bella's dance class on a Wednesday evening, we scooted on over to the local Goodwill Store. I'm gonna pop some tags...got twenty dollars in my pocket.  This gem of a dresser was just sitting there waiting for us for the bargain price of $14.99.  After convincing Bella to stop rubbing her face on the seat of an old couch or trying to get me to buy snow boots, we folded down the van seats and zipped on home.

While the kids did their homework on Thursday and Trey was otherwise occupied, I pried off that weird dental molding strip, all the hardware (which I broke in the process), and the top edge added on piece thing.

On Friday, I moved this project down to the basement so I could sand it.  This is an important step even though I'm tempted to skip it every time.  But, with this old kind of veneered shiny wood, if you skip sanding, the new paint will peel right off...kinda like when you were a kid (or last week) and would cover the palm of your hand with glue, wait for it to dry then peel it off.  Fun when it's glue, sad when it's paint that you had to actually buy.

I employed the toughest sanders I live with and let them have at it.  We used a heavy grit (50 & 80) to really give the finish some teeth.

After sanding, (don't forget to wipe off the dust!) I used my new favorite water putty to fill in flaws and a weird seam.  While Jay played with the kids, I went to Home Depot to get the paint.  When I found the color I wanted, the woman helping me suggested that I get the SAMPLE SIZE.  This size only comes in a flat or egg shell finish (I chose egg shell), but is enough to do 2 coats on a piece like this.  The sample size cost $3.15!!!

On Saturday, while Trey napped and the kids were playing, I sanded the dried water putty and put on a coat of primer (which I already had in the paint closet).  Again, I love to skip steps for expediency's sake, but...I hate going back to fix things more.  The primer guaranteed that the old, ugly black freckles on the wood wouldn't peek through.

After the kids went to bed, I did the first coat of paint.  During Sunday's nap time, I did the second coat.  My next problem was the hardware.  I had broke every handle taking them off the dresser, plus they were dated....

On Monday, I went to The Construction Junction and found the perfect hardware for a total of $5.89.  *Construction Junction accepts donated household goods and sells them for practically nothing! However, the hardware was a shiny brass, which was not what I wanted.  A can of black spray paint would solve that problem.

I attached the new (old) hardware to a piece of cardboard and waited for the kids to go to bed.  I have to say, spray painting is an art.  An art that I am not proficient in...even less proficient at night...outside...in the dark...in 30* weather.  Somehow, I always miss spots and get a little high every time.  It's not my best work, but got the job done!

So, for a total of $25.00, I got my nice pop of color!

Whew!  If you read this whole thing, God bless ya! 

What I made!!!

I've been wanting to give our dining room a makeover for awhile now.  I loved our dining room the way it was, but it definitely needed to be freshened up.  A good friend asked me why I would re-do the dining room since it had only been a few years since I did the first makeover...uhhh, that was 12 or 13 YEARS ago!!!  Originally, January was going to be THE month that I tackled the make over.  But, then someone decided to empty our bank account for us, so it wasn't possible. (Have no fear, the problem has since been fixed and funds returned!)  Then I scheduled a Super Bowl/ baby shower party at our house, so I just didn't have the time. (Such a mature decision for me!  In years past, I would have tried to frantically finish the project forgoing sleep and sanity.) 

I didn't take any 'before' pictures.  I know!!!  For shame!!  But, to be honest, one day after dinner, Jay ripped a piece of chair rail off the wall to see what would happen and so the project began.  And by began, I mean that the glue from the chair rail ripped off chunks of plaster leaving a strip of disaster in its wake on our very unevenly textured walls.  Uh-oh.  Once I fixed that problem with a bucket of joint compound, children's paint brushes, and an electric sander, it was on to the painting.  Of course I wanted to paint horizontal stripes on an uneven wall.  Our house has to be the most crooked house ever...if you ever drop a blueberry or bouncy ball, I know just where to look! (under the china cabinet!)  The stripes turned out beautifully!  BUT!!! The most exciting part of the project was my window boxes/valances/cornices...whatever you call them, these were my 'piece de resistance'!!!

You guys!  Pretty much everyone thought I was crazy to tackle this project by myself without any real woodworking experience.  I promise you, the guy at Home Depot tried mightily to talk me out of this project with a smile and condescending tone.  He may have even given me a grandfatherly wink at one point.  Since I don't take kindly to be being told that I cannot do something, I went ahead and bought all the wood and trim and headed home.

I have a whole 'nother blog post about how great my father-in-law is.  He's a great resource of tools and fix-it wisdom.  He came over and helped me measure correctly (as to hit the studs when hanging the box) and miter the corners at the correct angle.  Plus, he bought me a whole container of water putty, which is my new favorite putty!!

Again, I didn't take pictures of the process because I had set my expectations pretty low.  I knew I could do the project, I just doubted how well they would turn out.  I didn't want any evidence of wasted time, wood and money (I feel like there's a joke in there somewhere).  However!!!  They turned out way better than I expected!

Since we were hosting a huge birthday bash this past weekend, I didn't have any time to hang stuff on the walls, but here are some pics....

Here's sort of a 'before' picture...the room was yellow above the chair rail, dark blue below the rail.  I like the blue because we did vertical stripes of the blue in satin and egg shell finishes.  Thank you Trading Spaces!  Please excuse the child with no pants on...

My helpers!!  They really did a good job!

The taping of the stripes!!!  Yikes!  Do you like my "x's" to remind my feeble brain to NOT paint in that space?

I love these so much sometimes I just stand in the dining room and look at them.

I have some ideas for art projects and a new cabinet/shelf...I promise that I'll try to remember to take pictures!

Show Your Real!

You guys! Jump on over to Courtney (and Dustin's) blog to check out my very first guest post! We're showing our real!  While you're over there, check out their other posts, too...it's a little bit about lots of different things.  Though, I must warn you, you may be inclined to run out and purchase boots after reading some of her fashion posts!  Thanks to Courtney for giving me the opportunity to invade her little corner of the web.

How Not To React to A Wedding Proposal

I love hearing stories of how couples got engaged! As I sit (Ha! Sit? What's that?) here whining and fretting about having nothing to blog about, I realized that I never recorded the story of our engagement.  So, sit back, relax and if you're anticipating your special someone popping the question, don't do what I did.

It was April, 1998 (yes, I know how long ago that was) and we had been dating for about a year and a half.  Jay and I had talked about getting engaged and married...we just knew, ya know?  I may or may not have hounded him to tell me when he was going to propose and he would sigh heavily, tell me to be patient (uh, I don't even know what that means) and maybe, just maybe, when we were at the beach that summer all my wishes would come true.  But, the summer was so faaa---aaa---rrrr awaaaaa---yyyy.  I knew it wasn't going to happen any time soon because we hadn't even gone to any jewelery stores to pick out any styles.  I had just told Jay very specifically what I didn't want.  He wasn't even sneaking around trying to measure my finger when I wasn't looking or having covert convo's with the besties.  How am I supposed to be surprised if I'm not suspicious?

On Friday, Jay called me at work to talk about our evening plans.  He had a gift certificate to Monterey Bay Fish Grotto on the top of Mount Washington.  Very fancy and very fishy.  I don't eat fish.  But, I'm always up for fancy, so I left on my purple pants suit and off we went!  We had a table right next to the window over looking our beautiful city!  After we ordered, that's when things changed...

We have a favorite song that we would listen to and get all googly eyed over by Bebo Norman called A Page Has Turned.  It's about a little boy and a little girl who grow up and find each other because that's the way it's supposed to be.  We had talked about having it be the song we danced to at our wedding...someday.  "High upon the mountain, he asked her for her hand." As we were looking out over the city, pointing out different sights, Jay quoted a line from song when the boy proposes to the girl.  Me, being clueless and hungry, didn't pick up on the subtle nuance.  Here's the conversation...

Jay: We're high up on a mountain...huh, honey?  (If he'd been next to me he would have been jabbing his elbow into my ribs)
Me: Uhhhh, yeah, I guess.
Jay: Honey, can I have your hand?
Me: No!  I do not want your gum!  This is a fancy place.  Find a napkin or a piece of paper!
Jay, a little more forcefully: Honey!  Give me your hand.
Me: No!  Seriously!  Do NOT give me your gum...swallow it if you have to!
Jay, through gritted teeth: Honey! Give. Me. Your. Hand!

I turned my head, closed my eyes and stuck my hand out across the table so Jay could put his gum in my palm.  Whatever he put in my hand was not gum...not slimy enough.  When I peeked, it was ring box with a beautiful ring in it!

Me: WHAT??  ( I tend to have volume problems when I get excited)
Jay: Will you marry me?
Me: ARE YOU SERIOUS? (people we're looking now...Jay didn't get down on one knee because he didn't want me to be embarrassed by all the attention.  I went ahead and solved that problem.)
Jay: Well, if this was a joke, it's not a very funny one.
I can only assume that I said "Yes!" as that very ring is still on my hand 14 years later.  

Jay was able to relax and eat all the food in the restaurant.  I, on the other hand, had to take my entire dinner home because I simply couldn't eat...I just kept staring at the ring!  Other diners stopped at our table to give us well wishes after somehow hearing about the proposal and a priest even blessed the ring!

So, ladies, if you're seriously dating someone, anticipating that moment, and your mate asks for your hand during a romantic dinner, DO NOT start yelling about gum.

Any other fun engagement stories out there?  I think Crafty P should share her engagement story...it's a good one!

Here's a linky loo to "our" song...

Say Goodbye to Stewart!

Remember my Stewart idea?  He was my "Elf on the Shelf" AKA "kids don't want to be creeped out" replacement.  In my effort to keep December simple and not frighten the children, I created something that caused me a lot of work and creative thinking.  Dang, my kids are smart whipper-snappers!  Overall, I really like the idea of Stewart...In a nut shell, Stewart would hide his special box somewhere in the living room/dining room/kitchen for the kids to find in the morning.  Inside the box was a scripture verse that they had to look up and read, then they had to write down gift ideas, put them in the box and put the box back where they found it.  Easy, right?  Hmmmm....sort of.  The hiding was the easiest part.  Stewart had no tolerance for tomfoolery, so the box was always hidden in plain site.  In the morning, Jay and I could hear Joe and Bella looking for the box (Trey was typically knee deep in one of our phones watching YouTube videos and couldn't be bothered).  We would hear a triumphant "I found it!!!" 

On day 2, our curious and not easily satisfied Bella started asking questions of Stewart.  She wanted to know what he looked like, how old he was, were he and Santa close friends.  Then wise, old Joe jumped into the fray and wanted to know about all the other elves and why they have pointed ears.  Oh!  For crying in a bucket!  So, I had to have Stewart answer them by including a letter in with the scripture.  Then, to divert their need for honesty and straight forward answers, Stewart began asking them questions...What was their favorite Christmas movie, song, joke?

Stewart, however, did not stay all the way up to Christmas.  Once we got a solid idea of what the kids wanted and we had the opportunity, we went shopping!  We actually finished pretty early for us this year.  My fear was that if I let the kids keep writing down ideas after we went shopping, one of them would come up with "the only thing I really, really, really want" and then be disappointed when he/she didn't get it.  (How do you shop for your kids and keep it even/fair/responsible should be a whole 'nother post, right?)

I wish that I had researched and printed scripture verses all at once or at least a few at a time.  There were a few nights that we were headed up to bed and I'd remember Stewart!!  Drats!

But, you guys!  My kids read their Bible every day!  Bella underlined every verse we read in her new Bible ("to be like Mommy" she said!  I swoon!) We talked about what words like integrity and humility mean.  They were reminded how much they are loved by God and are covered in grace and mercy...and what that looks like to show that kind of love to other people.  How great is that?  If they remember any part of something we read, I'll consider the project a success!

The jury is still out on if I'll do it again next year.  Maybe I'll come up with something even better!  Here's my challenge to you!  I'm going to list all the scripture verses we read...why don't you look them up and see what you think?

John 3:16, Philippians 4:4-8, 1 John 4:7-10, Ephesians 2:8-9, Proverbs 17:22, Psalm 139:13-14,        2 Corinthians 8:9, John 15:9-14, Proverbs 10:9, Hebrews 13:16, James 1:19-20, Colossians 3:12-14, Luke 2:8-14, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, Isaiah 26:4, Luke 6:37-38, Philippians 4:8-9, Hebrews 12:15, Ephesians 6:1-2, 1John 3:1, John 14:6

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?  He didn't have the guts!  (that was Bella's joke for Stewart!  I love it!)

Oh, Pinterest, You Got Me!

I was in search of a teacher's gift for Joe and Bella's teachers.  I needed 3 (simple, inexpensive, yet thoughtful, something they could use in real life) gifts.  I found this cute idea on everyone's favorite social media network idea pin board bookmarking place site, Pinterest.

Super cute, right?  Just switch it up a tad for Christmas, throw in a Giant Eagle gift card, and BOOM!  Done!  I gathered all the items...though, I couldn't find the exact cup as in the picture.  But, cups, pencils, gift cards.  I started to assemble the items together at about 10:00 pm Wednesday night for a Thursday delivery.  You guys!  THIS happened...

Uhhhh.....crap!  Now what?  I'm not good on the fly!  How can the pencils NOT fit in the cup???  Do I ditch the pencils?  But, then, what am I going to do with 80 pencils???  Oh the shame!  I came up with a solution, though!  It's not perfect, but it worked.

I blame myself, really, for not checking that the pencils would actually fit in the cup...but, I somehow want to put the responsibility on Pinterest for making me have to think late at night.   And, yes, get out my camera and document it all instead of just focusing on the problem.  All Pinterest's fault.