Monday, January 24, 2011

Job Opportunity????

Some day I will go back to work, either out of necessity (these knitting projects aren't gonna pay for themselves!) or sanity (once all the children are in school, there's only so much time I can devote to Facebook).  I think I have come up with a perfect job (besides the actual job that I want at American Eagle folding clothes)!  A "bathroom break giver" at the Children's Hospital!  I'm sure there is a better title for this position, but for now, work with me.  "Potty Break-er"???  "Gimme A Break-er"???

Starting at 8:00 am, I would visit rooms that had patients under the age of 3 that had only one parent staying with them overnight.  I would then offer said single parent a 10 minute opportunity to use the bathroom however they see fit.  I would stay in the room with the child and make sure no bodily injury was inflicted.  Let's not get crazy, though...I'm not offering to take your kid to the playroom, feed him or her, teach him or her a foreign language, a musical instrument or anything educational.  I'm strictly keeping your kid safe while you pee and brush your teeth.  Don't waste time by checking your FB updates, folding sheets or finishing that magazine article you started last night.  The clock is ticking and there are other parents that have to go potty.  I promise not to ask what you were doing for so long in there or pass any do what you gotta do.  I'll come back around later in the day to give you another break, but don't make foolish mistakes like chugging a gallon of water (or coffee) that will leave you uncomfortable for quite some time.  And yes, I realize that the nurses will ask each time they leave the room if you need anything, but let's be honest...they're offering to bring you a water bottle, snack, fresh towels or linens...not a bathroom escape.

What do you think?  I think it has potential.

p.s. I know that if it was urgent the nurses would absolutely help however they could, my point is that I don't think babysitting is in their job description and they shouldn't have to do so.


Happy said...

Is that outside of a candy sriper's volunteer acts? Yes? No? Maybe?

Gosh, I wish there was someone who already had this job so that you could take a well deserved potty break when needed.

In the meantime may I suggest using the empty water bottle as a er, urinal? And then you can just leave it for a nurse to dispose of?

Gross? Yes? No? Maybe?

Sorry. I can see the problematic issues with it, sure. The lack of privacy for one. The squat and aim for another.

Too descriptive? Yes? No? Maybe?

Want me to be done now?

I'll answer that myself!

Love you, Rachel! Praying for you all the time!


Katy said...

oh man, our one and only night in the hospital was so hard! i felt like i couldn't do ANYTHING or miles would yank out his iv. your job description sounds amazing. i just know every family in that hospital would feel so thankful for a potty breaker. imagine--no more peeing with the door open and one eye on your kiddo strapped into that hospital high chair!

Courtney said...

Happy, you're hilarious!
Rachel- you know you're welcome in our store anytime. If you need some practice folding clothes, my room is always a mess....I don't pay well though. :)